How To Reach A Goal:  How Focusing On Desired Result Can Hold You Back From Achieving It & What To Do Instead

How To Reach A Goal

I want to show you how focusing on a result you want can actually hold you back from achieving it and what to do instead.

This reframe to reaching a goal and learning what it means to truly visualize in a way that will help you, could mean the difference from you reaching what you want or not. 

In my case, it’s actually something I lost sight of for about 3 months last year with one particular business goal I had.  Guess what happened?

I did not reach the goal but what hurt the most was just about everything that had to do with that goal, felt miserable especially as the clock ticked on. 😫

Aside from being more likely to reach your goal what I’m about to share with you can save you from:

• A lot of unnecessary headache and frustration
• That feeling and exhausting cycle of doing all the things with nothing to show for it
• Becoming cynical and playing tapes in your head like “why isn’t this working for me already?!”

No matter if you have a goal for your health, relationship, parenting, your birth or postpartum, or a career or professional goal of making more money, or getting that promotion, or developing a new product, what I’m about to share with you can help.

Let me show you a simple shift you can make in working to get to where you want to go  – and be sure to read to the end for real examples from getting that promotion, achieving better health/look you want, to being a calm parent, and more.

How to Reach A Goal:

WHY FOCUSING ON RESULT CAN BLOCK YOU

Why do most people fail at goal setting?  Which in my case was reaching a few markers on specific projects I had for my business last year.

Here’s what happens:  We forgot to love the process more than the result or outcome. Now,  let’s unpack this and make it really, really tangible.

In revisiting some of my business goals and playing back how they all went down from the conversations I was having, the work I was doing and most of all how I was approaching and feeling about the work, I noticed something striking about the goals I didn’t reach.

I was so focused on the end goal, in this case the metric I had outlined and the feeling of what that accomplishment would be like once it happened, that I forgot to love the process, the work and the steps to get there, more than the result or outcome.

I lost sight of aligning my daily approach and feelings to the process (the work to be done), and instead I was fixating on the outcome. 

For all of you who love a good vision board this is the equivalent of having only the end results on your board.

Now hang with me here, because you know I love visualizations and vision boards – I even guide clients on creating them, but it cannot stop at the future-focus.  In fact, the process has to be a part of that visualization – it has to be baked in.

Let me give you an example.  

One particular goal of mine was running an updated version of a cohort, in a new space, with a new flow, new experts, a lot of new.  This particular goal would require me to reach a higher capacity of seats filled than past cohorts, in order for it to be a viable business move.  

Here’s where I made the mistake.  I began fixating on that number I had to reach, my love of how much I enjoy the coaching once I’m there.  

I was hyper-focused on the seats and how much I love group coaching.

Sounds harmless, right? 

Well, this seemingly small thing in my approach turned out to be my biggest barrier.  

What I needed to do was focus on loving and appreciating the work that would get me there.  There was no question, I was doing a lot of work, especially marketing in new ways but I was hating the work to get there.

I know this because in my reflection I recalled a couple of conversations I was having with other entrepreneurs and how much we ruminated about “hating the marketing and loving the actual work”.  

This is similar to how some of my clients feel about their jobs – they love an aspect of it, what we think of as the actual work, but when it comes to advancing, getting a promotion, finding a new place and being the advocate for yourself – it’s not so fun.

Same can be said for parenting, one of the greatest and hardest jobs out there.  Parents often say “I love being a parent, it’s one of the most rewarding experiences of my life – when they just kiss you, or give you that big hug at the end of the night it’s so fulfilling.”  And then a lot of the time we are complaining about, perhaps dreading what’s required of us day in and day out to actually parent.

I didn’t fall in love with the process and journey to get to that coaching experience …in fact, I’ll go so far as to say I had ZERO appreciation for the work involved for that particular goal and I’m sure it was felt by not only me but the powers that be – and the universe will respond, as it did.

Have you ever done this?  I bet you have …

It usually goes something like this …set a goal/something you want to do/achieve/have and you’re like “ok, let’s go.”  

But at some point in your journey you begin to resent the journey and it starts to feel like a chore, like a “why do I have to ….I just want to …” 

You just want to have or do that end goal already.  I get it, believe me, I get it.

But when we fixate on that end spot whether it’s a product, a result, a number, a new habit, that perfect moment with our child  …all the trial and error, refining, innovating, pivoting, sharing and seeking feedback, learning more, more integration 

…all those journey steps (which by the way are inevitable within roles and goals of our lives where we are trying to grow, or implementing something new and or innovating at work or home) these steps become thorns and we cringe every time we step on one.

How to Reach A Goal:

WHAT TO FOCUS ON TO REACH A GOAL

As I said, I love visualization, words of the year, intentions, goals and picturing in sensorial detail what life will be like when that thing is achieved BUT it can’t stop there – it can’t stop focused on the end, the journey has to be baked into your daily focus.  

We have to go further.  We have to reverse engineer from there and work to grow love (or at least an appreciation) for the tiny steps and tasks of work that will be required. 

We have to remain focused on the steps of the ladder – not the top of the ladder.

We have to ground ourselves, shift our mindsets, and visualize us doing the journey-work, all those tiny steps and feeling appreciative of that.

We will most succeed at our goal when …

Our goals, our daily approach, our daily feelings and our visualization work to pump us up is aligned and fixated more on the journey (not the end result).

So here is what I am reminding myself now – especially as I lay out my personal and professional goals, and create strategic plans for them – and you can do this too:  

Fall in love with the process, the tasks, the tiny steps in the direction you seek – not the outcome.

 

➡️ Want to advance in your job and make more money? 

Fall in love with (or at least shift your mindset to appreciate) the kind of work, the advocacy needed, the networking, the actual steps to get you there (not more money).

➡️ Want to really change the way you look and feel?

Fall in love with moving your body, finding out how it can feel more fun and joyful, and nourishing it inside and out every day (not a number on the scale or jean size).

➡️ Want to feel and be more confident?

Fall in love with learning, putting yourself in positions that will stretch you, maybe even working with a mentor or coach that guides you, holds you accountable (not the confidence).

➡️ Want to enhance the culture of your team?

Fall in love with truly seeing people, appreciating them and their story, and helping them (not a healthy team culture).

➡️ Want to maintain a calmer state at home even when your kids are pushing buttons?

Fall in love with practices that reduce stress for you, learn and fall in love with ways to respond vs react, being vulnerable and communicating how you’re feeling and being OK with stepping away, fall in love with learning as a parent …fall in love with self-awareness practices and listening to your body and moments you feel triggered to get curious (not the perfect calm home).

How to Reach a Goal:

LET YOURSELF READJUST YOUR ALIGNMENT & EVOLVE

If you realize or are realizing that you too could shift your thinking and appreciation from your desired result, to the work that will get you there then take heart and don’t be hard on yourself.

 

It’s the wise and smart who allow themselves to grow in self-awareness and use that knowledge not to get down on themselves but to grow, evolve, and realign.

To Summarize:

1. Fall in love with, grow your appreciation for the tasks, the work, the effort it will take, not the end result.  
2. Remind yourself on a regular basis. Ground yourself in that reframe and visualization of how you will feel, approach, and love on the tasks and work (not the end result visualization).
3. Let any new self-awareness of how you’ve been tackling goals serve as fuel for growth, evolution, and realignment.

As long as you have these things in order, you’re not only more likely to reach the goal, but it’s a much more enjoyable journey.

I hope this gives you some inspiration.  I’ll see you in two weeks.

If you have any questions/thoughts/ideas you can simply comment below or contact me.

Here’s to alignment that creates growth, and those forever-felt ripple effects,

Dina

Whenever You’re Ready, Here Are 5 Ways I Could Help:

*please note: I accept both employer developmental programs or out-of-pocket payments by clients

#1 | Individual Coaching:  Looking to grow and advance in new ways professionally and or personally, I help you get to where you want to go and make the changes you seek with a customized path.  With proven methods, actionable strategies distilled for you combining my expertise in behavioral and org science, innovation, and integrative and holistic practices.  Learn more about individual coaching and what that could look like for you with a complementary strategy session.  Coaching is often covered by employer development programs.  About all services here – or take a look at testimonials and what others had to say.

#2 | Ambitious & Stillness Seekers In Business Mastermind for Women:  I’m getting ready to launch the Ambitious Stillness Seekers In Business Mastermind for Women where business owners, and leaders will come together for genuine community, facilitated content, and training – from business training, strategies, key resources, and more.  Get ready to feel seen, inspired, and have tools and a community centered to help you achieve your ambitions while keeping your peace.  Learn more about the Ambitious Stillness Seekers in Business Mastermind for female entrepreneurs and leaders.

#3 | Conscious (& More Competent) Launch Cohort: for college women getting ready / launching their career.  Learn more about the Conscious (& More Competent) Launch Cohort here!

#4 | Workshops / Speaking Engagements:  Workshops can include the following (but are not limited to as I can work with you to customize around your group’s needs): 

• Maximize the Enneagram for Your Business: The number one predictor of success and great leadership is self-awareness.  In this workshop I guide you through the enneagram and how you, and those around you, can use it to reach greater success and alignment.  Work environments come with different types of people, nuances, and approaches – which can be a great strength of any team and business with a high level of self and team awareness. Email dina@myfreewell or schedule a strategy session to learn more and align on needs.

• Aligned Life Strategic Planning Workshop:  gain clarity, momentum, and time back as you learn about key strategies, reframes, and tools to achieve greater alignment while immediately putting it all to work for you with guidance in real time! Be prepared to up-level the way you plan and the way you think and live out being in true alignment.  Email dina@myfreewell or schedule a strategy session to learn more and align on needs.

#5 | Leadership 360 (for you / someone you mentor):  rooted in stakeholder based coaching, this 360 service provides powerful feedback to leaders (of any level) that will help them understand what they are doing well and where they have opportunities to grow. By sourcing feedback from multiple perspectives, the 360 evaluation provides tremendous value and creates a comprehensive picture.  This is thorough feedback based on 5 to 7, 30-minute stakeholder interviews summarized into a comprehensive report that helps you see strengths and growth areas.  Includes interviews, reporting, debrief of report findings, and concrete “go forward” developmental plan for growth trajectory. Email dina@myfreewell or schedule a strategy session to learn more and align on needs.

Hi, I’m Dina, thanks for being here and I hope this was helpful for you!  I am an independent coach, consultant and ethnographer by training – strategic thinker, adept connector, with an insatiable curiosity and commitment to learn.

With 16 years of experience spanning consulting, market and behavioral research, facilitation, coaching, brand and innovation work with a variety of clients from one-on-one, small teams and businesses, to Fortune 500 companies like Procter & Gamble, Gap Inc, & Kraft – I love helping individuals and teams get to where they want to go.

My approach is integrative and combines behavioral and org science with innovation, branding, and holistic practices.  I own and operate two small businesses. I hold a Master’s in Organizational Diagnosis & Intervention and behavioral study, am a Certified Five Capitals Business & Leadership Coach, and a Certified Integrative Health and Nutrition Coach.